Of not calling Men ‘trash’

Such a statement evokes mixed feelings. Who am I kidding? It’s controversial. If the odds are against me I might be labeled a ‘pick me’

Truth be told the other gender does quite a lot of questionable things. Just the other day on the green app I was advocating for women’s right to dignity after men, yes men, insisted on labeling single mothers a derogatory word – mvana. Obviously, this was met with a lot of contradiction by men who have no idea how it feels to be a woman in this world. So yes ‘Men Are Trash’ could have just easily been used to explain that.

Admittedly the phrase had undeniably found it’s way into my everyday vocabulary. The faithful guy doesn’t give his girl attention? – Men are trash. The man down the street was catcalling young women? Men are trash!

The South African explains – #MenAreTrash began trending in South Africa in 2017 when Karabo Mokoena was murdered by her boyfriend and her body burned. It’s been used by women to highlight the abuse and violence that women experience on a daily basis.

Of course the phrase ‘Men Are Trash’ is always accompanied by #NotAllMen. And yes we know it’s not all men. However this can best be described in the summary below

“Dear Men

You, Men Are Trash!!

But, Men Are Trash is not about you. Stop being so touched. 

Sometimes, just listen. Woman are crying about us and our behaviour towards them.

We know it’s not all of us. 
It’s like when we hear white people say
‘Not All White People Are Racist.’
We know that not all white people are 
racist but we call them out “squad deep”.
Because, we need them all to hear it. 
So that they are aware that racism is a thing.
That they stop being so ignorant.”
   -Scotty Wang 

So after seeing how men continue to disappoint either being apologists or actually guilty of all these atrocities, I still stand by my unpopular opinion. Maybe we could stop calling men trash. WHY?? Because when we do so we continue to condition our minds that nothing good could possibly come out of a man. We vilify them and cease to see them as human beings with emotions

In addition to that, considering some men are actually evil and act as if they don’t have a heart at all, attributing everything they do to their nature as men acts as a justification. They do not take any responsibility for their actions. They don’t grow from it. Someone will do something inhuman and it will seem normal because what do we know – ‘Men are trash!

If I’m being totally honest I know good men with genuinely good hearts and pure intentions. They try to sympathize with women and unlearn toxic masculinity. If anything they are trying their best and that gives me hope. There are still a few good ones out there. The goal is to avoid having another generation with the same problems by educating kids. Girls need to know there are good men out there and boys should take responsibility avoiding the ‘boys will be boys’ mantra.

So whilst men continue to prove their actions can be a wrapped piece of garbage, it’s also important not to normalize such behavior. I will call them out, and educate them but I’ll not let anything slide because ‘Men Are Trash’ I am no longer taking or accepting questionable behavior because ‘Men Are Trash’

No, not anymore 🙂

Love and light

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  1. “If I’m being totally honest I know good men with genuinely good hearts and pure intentions” . Feels good to be acknowledged, it’s quite rare lol. Goood piece right there!

  2. Judging from your experiences… are men trash in general? If you were to associate their actions into one category?

    John Anonymous

  3. What’s your opinion this “modern day men do not have spaces where they can express their masculinity with their fellow men”, do you think it true? Is all masculinity toxic and if not where do we draw the line?

    1. It is true to some extent. We don’t have a lot safe spaces for men to express themselves as compared to women. However the few setups that are there are not well known or for lack of a better word ‘as effective’ because it has always been hard for men to be vulnerable. I’m glad it is slowly changing.

      Not all masculinity is toxic. Attributes related to masculinity including strength and courage are good for certain things. It becomes toxic when masculinity becomes violent, abusive and could potentially cause harm to the guy himself and everyone around him.

  4. Its a balanced submission seeing that you considered the sheeps (good trying ones) amongst the woves(idiots) .One just doesn’t wanna end up being driven by that nothing good comes out of men despite their wrong doings as this might gradually instil a negative base in ones mind, negative expectations from men and subconsciously believing that man will always dissapoint .Now even after one has found a good one they will constantly look for the “trash” in him just to feed thier belief …………its hard to deal with a belief

  5. I just want to hug you for this piece 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

    I really think we excuse them to be “trashy” by generally accepting and declaring that Men Are Trash.

  6. Inspiring thought out there Ms Vee! What are the odds of hearing that.. i agree with you and at the same time..
    Its easy to criticise
    To see an error in a work of original gesture
    We alienate what we do not understand
    because it is different we reject just as we would if
    if one of us had 3 eyes. The extra eye would never be
    what it truly is, an extra vision but rather a curse
    A good number of man got their hearts trashed
    thrown away
    By the same gender that claims the other to be heartless
    yet we forget that actions are results
    just like tears
    Tears are not the pain
    but the result of pain
    So why fight the result and critic it?

    Thank you Miss Vee

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