By Lybra .M
‘If it’s meant to be it will be’ is a sentiment l am always in a collision course with many times. It emanates from colleagues, quotes, literature etc. but never have l really rationalized this notion as l thought it’s pretty straight forward as everything that’s meant to be will always be, but will it always be? Just like many of my fellows, we share the same view about destiny and fate but then l started to ask myself a legion of questions, what is it really that we call fate and destiny?, what do they really mean?, do they have the same meaning or they are just synonyms of the other?
With the appreciation of google and after perusing dictionaries such as Merriam -Webster and Oxford, I was able to grasp the meaning of these two words. Fate was illustrated as the inevitable development of events outside a person’s control, regarded as predetermined by a supernatural force on the other hand, Destiny is a particular state of a person or thing in the future considered as resulting from earlier events. In summary fate is said to be set by outside forces whilst destiny involves choice.
The phrase, ’If it’s meant to be it will be’ clearly talks about the future. Now that there are two narratives concerning the future, which narrative is correct or they both are? Fate and Destiny can easily become intertwined because both of these terms deal with the future however, it is important to note that they do not mean the same.
By amassing all this vast knowledge a little light was now starting to be shed on my topic of interest. I was now starting to see that the saying, ‘If it’s meant to be, it will be’ is not as clear and simple as it seems. By just looking at it on a surface level makes it seem like our actions are worthless and meaningless as the gods have already decided for us whilst foregoing the fact that everyone should be held accountable for his / her decisions in future.
After applying literature review and critical thinking all at once, I am now of the view that in every person’s life both Fate and Destiny co-exist naturally. In light of this, everything that’s meant to be will always be but the catch is about ‘choice’. Whenever there is freedom of choice we are talking about destiny since it is up to our choices to determine the future. It is up to us to determine that which is meant to be. But if there is no choice then that is fate and with this all that is meant to be will be.
Fate plays a lesser significant role in our lives as many things in our lives are choices and not things that have already been preordained. Although, l have to point out that some things are beyond control (fate). Holding everything constant (ceteris-paribus), everything that is meant to be which you have no choice over will always be. It is fate which decides for you the family from which you will come from and the fact that they will be rich, poor or loving is a process you will never have a say in those regards. It is fate which decides the people you are going to meet in life, be it friends or work mates and it’s also fate which decides the relationships and marriages you will enter into.
As already aforementioned above, it is not one’s choice to be born in a poor family, that is fate, but however it is not fate to then die poor as these are now life choices which contributes to that since many things could be done so as to not die poor. Same as it is not by choice meeting people in life but it’s now choices knowing which ones to keep and which ones to do without and also what to learn from them and also lessons to disregard.
Fate has it for us the day we are going to die, holding everything constant that will eventually be the day one dies but one can deny fate from taking its due course by being reckless to say the least. I beg to differ from the everyday credence among men that we all die the day we are supposed to die. I am of the view that if one is reckless in regards to his / her actions or decisions personally one can reduce their number of days. Examples of these mentioned actions include drunk driving, speeding and all those other unruly behavior which can lead to earlier death in the long run and also narcotics just but to mention a few.
If it was a church service I would have heard ‘Go deeper papa’ because l feel like l am now preaching. The term ‘fate’ is loosely interpreted many times. For some people it is because they do not really understand what it means whilst some use it to find solace so as to justify their predicament or situation. Many people are in toxic marriages, relationships or even difficult situations because they believe that is what fate has it for them and because of this no action is taken so as to circumvent the unideal situation. During slave trade era white folks used this as a vital tool for propaganda, they instilled into Africans the belief that they are destined to be slaves thus many black people did not even think of rebelling as they thought that is what fate has it for them but that was far from true.
Before talking about fate make sure there is no choice and surely it is beyond your control. If it is a marriage or relationship and you are having problems try to exhaust all possible channels to solve the problem. You have to suppress your ego, talk to each other, look at the cause of the problem and solve it amicably. If you are meant to be with that person it will be but if after trying to salvage it all and still it is not working then that’s when you are allowed to say that we were / are not meant to be and not when nothing was done to salvage the situation.
The same applies to our studies. If you are meant to pass and you do all that’s necessary to pass which involves properly reading and attending lectures then l assure you nothing will go wrong. You also have to add prayer into the mix because we are at war with people and things we don’t even know about. On the other hand even if you are meant to pass but then don’t do everything necessary to pass, surely this will yield adverse results.
Fate only gives you a situation from time to time be it good or bad. However, what is important is how you go about it or the choices you make. Choices take precedence above anything else when it comes to the ascertainment of our future. In conclusion, it is not what happens in the world that determines the major part of your future. What happens, happens to us all. The key is what you do about it!!!!!!!!
Thank you so much Lybra for this post and Happy Birthday x
What your take on Fate and Destiny??Love and light x