Deep down I know what I have experienced so far might just be a glimpse of vast confusing situations life has in store. But, I must say these teenage years came with a lot of changes. How did only worrying about getting home in time for Cool Cats change to choosing your career for life? Yet society doesn’t consider me mature enough to know what I want – the key.
Older people are most likely to rule out the teenage years as the most challenging time of your life. Its understandable, think about it; you have no bills to worry about. However we can not ignore the confusion and the depression that comes along with it. The drama though, its too much to handle at such a young age. Obviously people don’t get it because you’re “too young” to have problems.
The learning process doesn’t end, nevertheless I think I have learnt quite enough to write a blog post. Here goes nothing – A letter to my younger self.
Growth is exciting
Adolescence was such a weird phase. Selfish of me but I felt betrayed when people suddenly started growing and they acted all weird. The question was ‘why are you changing dude?’, we were doing just fine. A lot of people are afraid of change, I was ‘people’. In my defense, I didn’t see any reason to try so hard to get out my comfortable zone. Its a comfortable zone after-all, I’m supposed to be cozy and all. However puberty was a change I couldn’t control. All these emotions raging, people changing and this was growth. I didn’t know what to expect and honestly I wasn’t ready for what came. But, growth is exciting, its like an adventure – (not in Disneyland though, no life is not that sweet)- where you get to discover yourself. Its an adventure that needs you to be positive all the way because its going to be a bumpy ride.
Don’t try too hard
Growing up I watched a lot of Disney sitcoms. I watched the all time best – Wizards of Waverly place, Suite life on deck, Hannah Montana you name it. The life of a regular teenager is perfect in these shows. I certainly had a distorted picture of how things were supposed to be. Of course I knew these were just actors yet I couldn’t help but try so hard to make everything perfect – perfect friendships, perfect relationships, perfect day at school.
Moreover I’d try a little too hard to make people accept me. Trying too hard to keep friends and be in circles that didn’t benefit me in any way. Trust me that was draining and life doesn’t work like that. I learnt that doing my best was enough. People’s actions are never guaranteed. Sit back and enjoy figuring them out but most importantly doing whats best for you.
It does get better
Giving yourself to the world and it not accepting you seemed like the hardest thing to get over. I fell into a tiny bit depression, finding comfort in being alone. When you’re a bit weird it seems like no one understands – although friends at that time might have also been confused. So I isolated myself and wrote the worst poems with no rhyme or good diction. Something like :
Forever lonely No one see's me I'm invisible Always alone, What is life I don't care Because I'm alone
It was a dark time for my young mind. The good thing is it does get better as soon as you realize that your happiness is your responsibility. We each have our own lives to live and even though its good to have friends, they don’t owe you anything. Most importantly, when these friends decide to be there for you don’t shut them out. Vulnerability is scary but beautiful.
Live your best life !
For what felt like the longest time ever I concentrated on the negative aspects of my life. Trying to fix everything. I’d worry about things I couldn’t control and if you ask me, that was a total waste of my imagination.
Dear younger self live your best life. I’m still learning but I try to turn negatives into positives. Be grateful for all the hardship. Maturity is important but not everything needs a serious approach. Sometimes you don’t have to live by the rules, there is no fun in that – like being late for class sometimes 🙂
Laugh more often. Don’t miss out on life because you’re “too shy” Stop overthinking , trust me life is much more simple than that. Spoil yourself, get yourself chocolate. Be selfish and save for those shoes. Allow boys to be nice to you and take more pictures!
P.S : Don’t check his phone.
Love and light